Parenting Through The Holidays

Since it’s December, let’s talk about the stress of parenting during the holidays. 

You maybe juggling Amazon tabs for gifts while your kids argue over screen time—and you're wondering how you're going to make it through the month without completely losing it.

I really get it!

The holidays seem to hit differently every year. It can be due to unexpected guests, or recent losses, the dynamics of planning to entertain friends and meanwhile you're just trying to keep your kids from having a meltdown at Target because someone else got the last trendy doll, toy, or game.

So, let's shift the conversation. Instead of another article telling you to "practice self-care" (eye roll) or "manage your expectations" (thanks, very helpful), I want to introduce you to something that actually works: Solution-Focused Coaching.

So, What Is Solution-Focused Coaching?

Here's the thing—Solution-Focused Coaching (SFC) is basically the opposite of sitting in therapy talking about your childhood for six months. It's action-oriented, future-focused, and all about building on what's already working in your life.

Think of it this way: instead of asking "Why is my kid having daily meltdowns?" we ask "When was the last time they didn't have a meltdown, and what was different about that day?"

See the shift? We're not problem-solving. We're solution-building.

And honestly? This is parenting gold during the holidays when you don't have time to deep-dive into every behavioral issue. You need strategies that work now.

The Reality Check: Holiday Stress

Let's get specific about what we're dealing with.

The fear of missing out (FOMO) is real. Your kids see Christmas events at the ballpark, glittering lights all around, and perhaps ice skating with friends, and they want ALL OF IT. Meanwhile, you're calculating if you can afford groceries and another seventy-five-dollar family outing.

Family dynamics get amplified. Maybe your in-laws are visiting and suddenly your parenting style is under a microscope. Or maybe you're navigating divorced co-parent schedules while everyone else posts their picture-perfect family photos on social media.

The routine disappears. School breaks mean structure disappears. Bedtime is less of a suggestion and more of a hostage negotiation. Meals happen whenever. And then everyone wonders why the kids are "acting out."

Your nervous system is maxed out. The cognitive load is crushing. And the gap between the holiday you envisioned and the holiday you're having feels massive.

Holidays Vegas Style. Look, I'm going to be straight with you. I live in Las Vegas, Nevada, and constant sensory overload is the norm. The holidays in Vegas are filled with chaos. We've specialty light displays to live nativity shows—overstimulation is ramped up to a whole new level.  

Your holiday isn't going to look like the Instagram, Facebook, or Tik Tok reels. Your kids might not pose perfectly for photos. Someone will probably cry at the most inconvenient time. You might burn the cookies or forget the Elf on the Shelf or say yes to too much screen time.

And you know what? That's being human.

Solution-Focused Coaching isn't about perfection. It's about progress. It's about identifying what works, amplifying it, and giving yourself credit for the extraordinary work you're already doing.

Your Holiday Game Plan

1. The Miracle Question (Building Your Vision)

Okay, here's where we start getting practical, using Solution Focused Coaching. I want you to do something with me right now.

Imagine you go to bed tonight, and while you're sleeping, a miracle happens. When you wake, all the holiday stress—the fighting kids, the budget anxiety, the family tension—it's just... handled.

Here's the coaching question: What's the very first thing you'd notice that would tell you the miracle happened?

Not some huge thing, like "my kids would be perfect angels." I'm talking small. Specific.

Maybe it's:

• You wake up and the kids are playing together quietly for 10 minutes

• You have your coffee while it's still hot

• Nobody complains about what's for breakfast

• You don't immediately feel that tension in your shoulders

This isn't fantasy. You just identified your hope. 

Write it down. Put it in your phone. That's your North Star.

2. Exception-Finding (Mining for Gold)

Here's what most parenting advice gets wrong: they assume everything is broken and needs fixing.

But that's not true. Even in your most chaotic week, there were moments—maybe just minutes—where things actually went okay.

Solution-Focused Coaching calls these exceptions, and they're absolute gold.

Coaching prompt: Think about the last 3 days. When did things go even slightly better than usual? What was happening in that moment?

Let me give you an example:

Maybe Tuesday afternoon, your kids played Legos for 20 minutes without fighting. Most parents would just be grateful for the break and move on. But we're going to reverse-engineer that success.

What was different?

• Were they well-fed? (Blood sugar management is parenting 101)

• Had they been outside earlier? (physical activity calms the nervous system)

• Was the TV off? (Less stimulation and distraction)

• Were you in the room but not hovering? (observing not micromanaging)

You just identified the conditions for success. That's your behavioral blueprint. Now you can recreate those conditions. This is intentional parenting.

Acknowledging Your Strength

Sometimes you're just surviving. And that's okay. Actually, it's more than okay—it's enough.

Solution-Focused Coaching has this beautiful question for those moments:

"Given how difficult things are right now, how are you managing to cope? What keeps you going?"

This is acknowledging the emotional labor you're already doing.

Maybe your answer is:

• "I haven't yelled today" (That's emotional regulation)

• "I ordered pizza instead of cooking" (That's wise resource management)

• "I let them watch an extra show so I could decompress" (That's allowing yourself a minute)

• "I texted my friend instead of bottling it up" (That's utilizing social support)

You're not failing. You're implementing survival strategies. And survival strategies are valid, especially during December, when your nervous system is processing a thousand inputs per day.

Tactical Implementation: Your Holiday Playbook

Let's get hyper-specific about how to use this in your actual life.

Strategy 1: The Energy Budget

Your kids have a limited stress capacity. So do you. Think of it like a battery that drains throughout the day.

Major draining activities:

• Crowds (malls, holiday events, tourist areas)

• Overstimulation (lights, sounds, new places)

• Schedule changes (late nights, missed naps, irregular meals)

• Social performance (being "on" for family visits)

Recharge activities:

• Unstructured play at home

• Snuggle time 

• A movie and popcorn-at home

• Time in nature (A hike, Park time, your backyard)

• Sensory downtime (dim lights, quiet, familiar routines)

• Connection time (reading together, playing a board game, talking)

Solution-Focused application: Before saying yes to another holiday event, ask yourself: "Will this drain or recharge our family battery?"

Simple forward-thinking questions can eliminate stress, and create peace in parenting.