Fun without Fear

Oct. 2022

Fear not! Socializing doesn’t have

to be a difficult situation, even if you have

ADHD. When you make a plan, keep it simple, and approach it with a fun

attitude, you can attend parties and other events. 

Most of our friends are excited about the upcoming holidays, and talking

about family gatherings and parties, seeing the social part of the season as

the most fun. But for adults with ADHD, holidays are often overwhelming.

Some dread being in a room full of people. Their hypersensitivities are in

high gear, they feel lost in conversations — lights, noise, crowds. Any excitement can sometimes cause those with ADHD to pull back and shut down.

Recently, I was invited to a shower, a large gathering with people I didn’t

know. As an introvert, I had anxiety just thinking about going. When I arrived, the host I knew, was coming out with someone, she said,

“Hi, go ahead inside” and kept walking. I entered and the bride-to-be and

her siblings hugged me.

After blessing the food and eating, came games. We were outside and asked

to create a painting of the future groom from a photo. I deliberately sat next

to a lady sitting alone.

 I said, “Be ready for a good laugh, I can’t draw, let alone paint.”

“It couldn’t be that bad.” I laughed. She had no idea.

After attempting twice, I let her have a sneak-peek. She giggled. We connected.

We went inside to view a video revealing the answers to the second game. I

invited my new friend to sit with me.

After gifts were opened, I was ready to leave. 

At this event, I was able to move about freely, and enjoy the “safety” of a

single connection. I said goodbye to my friend, hugged, and left. I had

enjoyed the food, laughter, and joy, and executed my plan!

Helpful hints:

If you have several invitations, decide which you consider important (family,

close friends) and send your regrets to the others. When you choose, you

feel more in control of your life, and this is evident in your interactions with

others.

If the gathering is serving mostly appetizers and/or the meal isn’t going to

be served for a while

, eat before you go. You will feel more in control if you

aren’t fighting hunger. Avoid alcohol which can cause an increase in ADHD

symptoms.

Survey the room to determine where to settle. You don’t want to sit next to

a music speaker or across from blinking lights. Find a relatively quiet corner

where it will be easier to converse with others. 

If you begin to feel anxious, Take a short walk. Sometimes removing

yourself for a few minutes will allow you to enjoy the rest of the party.

With a bit of planning, and

making choices, you can take the fear out of socialising.

I think one of my favourite quotes perfectly explains this.

“When we allow ourselves to adapt to different situations, life is easier.”

Catherine Pulsifer

Next Month: Passion...What’s yours?